hi! sorry it's been kinda quiet here for a minute. I've honestly been pretty tired and miserable this week so I haven't really felt like writing.
Also, I've noticed a broader tendancy where whenever I make progress with something creative, I tend to backslide pretty hard almost immediately. Like, I just wrote this song, which is exciting because it's the first song I've been able to write in a while, but that was actually like two or three weeks ago now and I still haven't finished it. In the The Artist's Way, I think Julia Cameron called these creative u-turns.
It's almost like whenever I get close to genuine engagment with a medium, I get kind of bored of it? I don't know if it's bored or scared or like I've kind of let myself off the hook? Like, I write 1/3rd of a song and that's enough to satisfy my ego and mainatin the illusion that I could be a good songwriter, without having to go through all the work of putting effort into it and sharing it with the world? Actually trying to make something real out of it? I think it's kind of comfortable to keep it as a maybe haha jk unless thing that only exists in your head. But I'm far from the first to point that out.
Oh, also I reinstalled insta on my phone and suprise! it was a horrible mistake! I haven't posted anything, I just look at picture of events that I'll never be cool enough to go to.
Even the reading has been slacking a bit, I haven't made too much progress on Woody Guthrie's Autobiogrpahy, and I've actually given up on trying to get through the Marx-Engels Reader (at least for now). My brain is just not cooperating with that shit. I was thinking of starting Simulacra and Simulation instead, just because that's another theory book I really want to get to this year. We'll see if that's any better.
sorry, loll very unfun post! i promise i'll write cooler shit in the future.
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